Comfortably Numb (Gilmour/Waters)
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Why did I record Comfortably Numb? Well, itís like this, I want to live my life anything BUT comfortably numb! Does that even make sense?
Hereís the story.† I heard an absolutely amazing version of this song.† It was acoustic based and dreamy sounding with a woman singing lead.† I was really into it, then it ended just like thatÖwhat??? I felt like Iíd been robbed.† No guitar solo?? The guitar solo in Comfortably Numb is probably one of the most legendary, passionate guitar solos in the history of guitar solos.† Try to prove me wrong! I have many guitar solos that I love but this one always comes up ranking in at least the top 10 on all the radio shows and in all the guitar magazines.
So anyway, I starting thinking, what is it about that guitar solo? Then it dawned on me what a contrast it is to the entire point of the song-†Things are painful right now so I can remedy that by taking some drugs and checking out for a while.† I know it doesnít say that exactly but sort of? But the soloÖthe SOLO. †It comes bursting forth out of the drug-induced stupor and stirs up all sorts of emotions right? You know what Iím saying I can tell. So how can anyone play this song without playing the guitar solo? I mean thatís like reading only half the book or watching the movie and turning it off before you get to the happy ending.
I felt like I HAD to record this song. It was a challenge in many ways but it was such a triumph for me.† Not only recording something with so many tracks, or learning David Gilmourís amazing solos note for note (not exactly because Iím me not him), but realizing I donít need to find comfort for my pain in the things of this world.† There are so many things we turn to. Sex, drugs, alcohol, food, shoppingÖyou name it we can find something that has a way of numbing us to the pain.† Iíve learned it only works for a while before the pain has to let loose in an explosive way just like all that passion and power in the guitar solo.
Have we gotten so used to it? Have we numbed ourselves to our own pain as well as those suffering around us?
I learned I needed to let myself feel the pain. It hurtsÖa broken heart hurts like nothing Iíve ever experienced. Itís a real injury and it takes time to heal.† Itís ok to cry, take time to be angry (donít hurt yourself or someone else), feel the pain of rejection, loss, loneliness.† All of it, feel it.
From the depths of my soul I cried and when I felt the loneliest of lonelies I realized I wasnít alone at all. †And when I hurt more than Iíd ever hurt before I realized the one who was there for me has hurt more than I will ever have to for eternity.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28 ESV)
He gave me the strength to feel the pain and keep living.† He gave me the power and courage to feel my hurt but also look for the joy in this incredible, beautiful life.† When we are numb our pain eases but how can we ever experience pure joy in that state?
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable-C.S. Lewis
This song is not available for download at this time but it is on my new CD (www.julimorgan.com/shop) and I usually play it live.† Thanks for taking time to listen. I hope you enjoy it.
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